What is it like being a high school coach? (A womans perspective)
Posted on: 5/6/24
Last updated: 5/6/24
Author: Thalia A. Urena
What is it like being a high school coach?
An under-appreciated job that has lasting impacts on the developing youth of each new generation. A coach is an experienced, confident, patient, and empathetic adult who creates lasting impacts on their athletes.The task of being patient in teaching important life lessons through sports to young adolescents is one of the most impactful jobs.
Coaching in high school is so much more than just teaching kids how to play a sport! I am often giving advice (academics, navigating relationships, college, etc) just as much as I give advice about Volleyball. Being a coach takes a lot of energy, confidence, emotional maturity, and empathy.
In this post, I will give some insight into what it’s like being a high school coach. I have coached volleyball for 8 years now, with 3 years being the head coach of an entire high school program.
Main topics discussed:
Differences in roles between an assistant, JV, and Varsity coach
Treatment of a young coach in their 20’s by refs, staff, and athletes
Coaching high school sports as a young woman
I coached high school Volleyball at 18 years old following my senior year of high school. I was still in my cap and gown when my coach asked me, “...if you’re staying local, would you want to coach with me?”.
Fast forward 8 years, and I’m now a 26-year-old head coach for a local high school volleyball program. Starting as an assistant coach, then a JV coach, and now a varsity coach gives me great insight into the differences between each high school coaching role.
Roles of an assistant coach, head JV coach, and head Varsity coach.
Assistant coach:
At 18 years old I was thrown into an unpaid assistant coaching role, the “lowest ranking”… but you gotta start somewhere! I had the advantage of knowing the girls I was coaching since I had just played with them the season before my graduation. So, I instinctively got the respect a coach often has to earn over time.
As an assistant coach, I had the job of showing my knowledge and expertise, especially in a specific area.
I was a (volleyball) setter, so I worked closely with the entire program's setters (Freshman team, JV, Varsity). I was showing up 3 out of 5 days a week, which is typical for assistant coaches to not be there everyday. This makes it a bit more difficult to form bonds with your players, but not nearly impossible.
The head coach will most likely be in charge of your tasks, hopefully utilizing you in useful ways for yourself and also the team. I often sat bench during the JV and varsity matches, mainly helping with live statistics.
JV head coach:
As a JV head coach, I got to finally plan practices, game lineups, and help choose who’s on my roster. I had the important job of ensuring the fundamentals of Volleyball were taught to my developing players.
I had to be prepared for my athletes to be striving for a varsity spot, which has nothing to do with me as their current coach. Your players may ask the head varsity coach questions, or treat them a bit differently because they want to impress them. It is your coaching staff’s job to ensure you have each other's back when handling those circumstances.
You expect equal respect for all staff members, no matter the job description they fit under.
Getting my junior varsity players ready for a competitive varsity spot was my main goal as the JV coach.
Varsity head coach:
The head of an entire program has a lot on their plate, as we all would assume. (We will talk more in depth about the role of a varsity coach in the next section.)
Some roles for a varsity coach could include:
Being responsible for managing the programs teams but also their staff (assistant coaches, JV coach, athletic director, etc).
Forming, and upholding your programs “culture” (IE: respect, resilience, sportsmanship, communication, academic requirements, etc)
Tryout plans, and daily Practice plans (creating practice plans surrounding recent game statistics, etc)
Fundraising, boosters, game statistics, team bondings
Communication with parents, staff, & athletes
And much more…
I've been an assistant, JV, and varsity high school coach... What is the main difference?
As a JV coach, I didn’t feel as much pressure as I do now. As a JV coach, I got to have athletes who were just learning the sport, and I was (usually) their first athletic coach. I had to teach them:
Communication (like a job… going to be late or miss a practice/game? Email asap!)
No silly business (they often want to just have fun.. But a great JV coach instills that competitive drive in their athletes)
I was getting them ready for their next coach, the varsity coach. Your goal as the JV coach should be to see your players get on that Varsity roster at some point in their high school career.
When I was the JV coach the varsity players would come to me with questions, often feeling less “judged” by me since I wasn't their head coach. I was viewed as the “safe space” coach… like a “good cop, bad cop” scenario in some ways.
Now as a varsity coach, I have those hard talks with players, staff, and parents as well. I can now be considered that “bad cop”! You have to have the resilience to not care if you’re “liked” by your athletes. They are still cognitively developing children at the end of the day, so being liked by them should be the least of your worries.
Being respected should be the main goal, and that can still be achieved by being kind with firm boundaries/expectations within your program.
Remember however, Disrespect/distain is different from just not being liked. Disrespect should be treated more sternly than an athlete being adverse to you.
As an assistant coach, everyone loved me! I wasn’t having hard talks or making lineups/rosters... So if you know you wouldn’t excel at a position where staff, players, and sometimes your boss doesn’t “like” you, maybe choose an assistant position to start!
Being a “20 something” year old Varsity coach
Being a young coach has trials and tribulations on its own. I can’t count the number of times coaches, and refs have asked me “Wait…are you the coach?” as I approach the coin toss with my professional attire. To put it into perspective I’m more surprised when someone doesn’t question me during a matchup than if they do.
On top of those challenges, I’m also a woman. The topic of gender bias in sports could be a blog post in itself, but it's important to quickly note this topic here. Refs have thrown my lineup sheet in my face, yelled when I am asking about a call, and blatantly treated the male coaches I verse better than me during a match. Many people can say “yeah right…” to those statements, and it ironically would just prove my point further.
Gender bias is a subconscious thing I deal with daily, not only from refs and the coaches I verse but also from my athletes and co-workers.
I often remind myself that my players are developing minds, and it's my job to show them how harmful gender bias is in sports so they can grow into intelligent and considerate human beings.
On the flip side… I'm not paid enough to teach other adults how to treat human beings correctly. That’s one of the toughest parts of being the head of a program as a young woman.
Coaching high school as a woman…
Coaching boys' high school sports as a woman is a tall task. The gender bias is most evident when I coach boys, for obvious reasons. It’s subconscious but painfully apparent. I'd be lying if I said it doesn’t sting to feel like I am being judged if I'm good enough by children… children who were in diapers when I was playing volleyball in high school.
I wouldn’t suggest coaching boys as a young female to just anyone for numerous reasons. You have the tall task of acknowledging gender bias, something very evident in the world of women in sports.
You have to be prepared for some adults to treat you poorly (refs, coaches, staff) and It may feel like it's you against the world, but having a supportive staff alongside you goes a long way for your own peace of mind.
I am currently the only coach for my varsity boys team, and managing 16 teenage boys is painfully tough when you’re alone.
Overall, gender shouldn't matter when coaching high school sports. If you want it, go after it. Take it day by day, and be confident in your decisions. An experienced coach wont even bat an eyelash at people who second guess her ability to coach boys/girls. Acknowledging is just the first step to creating lasting change, which is my intention with this section.
To wrap it all up….
Hopefully I haven’t scared you away from being a high school coach. My goal was to be honest in my (close to) decade of experience coaching high school sports, something I wish I had before my first year coaching. Just like any job, there are many trials we face, but also many accomplishments that make it worthwhile.
Getting to hear an athlete say “You're the first coach to believe in me”, or “I wouldn't be here if you weren’t the coach”, and “You’re the best coach I've ever had” are things I’ll never take for granted. It makes the (sad) treatment I face from refs, staff, and athletes worth it.
If you love the sport you coach, it will shine through when you step foot in the gym. Volleyball was my saving grace in high school, it got me out of bed for school every morning and made me stay on top of my academics. I met a lot of new friends and got job opportunities through playing/coaching high school volleyball. Making connections is bound to happen when coaching!
Although it's easy to say “This is just high school sports… it's not that serious”, it's also easy to say how impactful high school sports are on a developing brain. 8 years out of my high school graduation I am still coaching, and volleyball still gives me some purpose in life. I definitely see an end to my coaching career in the future, but coaching has changed my life for the better.
A high school coach may be underpaid, overlooked, and overworked but we are also mentors who create bonds that follow young adults throughout their lifetime. No matter where I go in life I will always remember being a high school coach, and my athletes will always remember me as their high school coach. How amazing is that?!
Reach out to a local school if you’re interested in sharing your love/expertise of a sport. It just might be something you find yourself doing a decade later!
See you in the next blog post!
-Coach T